Guilt.... its such an easy word to say that means so much, I am sure this is something a lot of dad's (and mum's) go through but it is something I have felt a lot of the last month or so!
Work is busy (stupidly so some days) and I am travelling around here there and everywhere, but today it really hit home! I was in a meeting with a client, not talking about work but family life etc and they asked how old my kids are! Which technically I only have one kid now as the other is now a fully fledged adult! The other is 10 and I have no idea where those years have gone.
I wonder what I have missed out on and what is the impact this has had on the youngest! She is 10 and a few years ago I really got the feeling I had no idea what was going on at her school, what she was learning and if it was a good school, so I decided to become a school governor!
If I am honest it is more work than I thought it would be but the big trade off is that I feel so much closer to my daughters education and knowledge of what is going on then I ever have.
So I feel less guilty about that side but there is so much more! During this meeting we spoke about the new shared parental leave rules that are due to be introduced in 2015 and I know now I would give my right arm to rewind the clock and be able to take that time off when she was a baby, as I know for a fact it felt like she was a baby for minutes where as I spent hours working!
Not sure why I have these feelings but I am sure they will pass, but in the mean I am making a conscious effort to do more with the youngest, I would do more with the older one but I know for a fact she doesn't want me hanging around (ha ha).